You are not an Island!
Some people think it is only the people ‘below’ that need to build relationship with people at the ‘top’. Like, it is the junior staff that must strive to build healthy relationship with those at the managerial cadre. That, the ‘followers’ should struggle to be a friend to the ‘leader’, etc. That’s not true, to succeed as a leader, building a heathy relationship with people you are leading matters.
It was stated in the book, ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie that ‘even in such technical lines as engineering, about 15 percent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering to personality and the ability to lead people.’
Irrespective of who you are, if you want to achieve more success in life, you need to take heed to relationship in your life and how you make it meaningful. Healthy relationships between your co-workers, family members, friends and other ancillary networks are vital for growth and effectiveness.
If you know how to categorise relationship by its’ characteristics, you will reduce your chance of been a victim. Categorise all your relationships, it might be demanding but it is rewarding. Trace the source, be sure of its’ purpose, listen to the language, and know your;
1. Position: you should know your position in every relationship. Knowing where you belong will help you predict how long the relationship will last. How close are you to that person? Are you his comrade, confidant, or constituent? Are you her admirer or administrator?
2. Responsibility: knowing your function in a relationship is easy if you know your position. Since I know I am the father in my family, providing for my wife and children should not be a debate. What is expected from you in that relationship? What is your job description in that relationship?
3. Boundary: to every game there is a rule, and only those that play to the rule wins, know the rule of the relationship you are in, and play by the rule so that you will not be ruined. Don’t risk crossing to ‘inner court’ if by position and responsibility you belong to the ‘outer court’, the ‘holy of holies’ is not meant for everybody, don’t cross to another person’s lane.
Your greatness is my fulfilment.
ATOYEBI Samuel | 21:4:2016
Personal Effectiveness Coach | Statistical Consultant
BBM PIN: 56397163